Words Are like A Magic Spell: The Power of Your Sound.

Words are like a spell they can lift you up or bring you down. We have the power to tear people apart with our words, or we have the power to advance them up to their highest good. Not everything can or should be said. Ask yourself is what I am saying adding value to the conversation. Do my words have meaning or am I speaking to fill an empty sound?

There are two ways of speaking; A monologue or a dialogue. A monologue is a solo conversation you are having with others or just yourself. A dialogue is between two or more people.

Dialogue:

How many times do we sit in a conversation with others waiting to respond. To listen is to be aware of the sound of the words uttered from the tongue. To hear is to be aware of the ENERGY behind the sound. For the majority of us we are just waiting for our turn to say something that we’ve been holding on our lips, we don’t actually hear what is being said, we just want to speak. If we are not hearing the voice of others, how can they hear our voice and what we are trying to convey, the message we are attempting to get across. I understand we as humans want to be heard and understood, but to be heard and understood, we also need to hear and understand others for what they are really saying.

Monologues:

Now, the type of monologue we are going to use today is the inner conversation we are having with ourselves. And it’s just as important to listen to ourselves with the one on one conversation we are having everyday in our head (or sometimes outside of our head). Is what we are saying to ourselves necessary? It is helpful? Is it comforting? Are we feeding ourselves negative thoughts? How you show up for yourself is how you show up for the rest of the world!

Late at night for many months, I sat in my bed attempting to fall asleep, and drowning myself in sleeping pills as the negative thoughts raced through my head. I questioned my every interaction that I had that day, beat myself up in my head and judged myself quite harshly if I had made a mistake. This wasn’t a great feeling and I wasn’t treating myself nicely. It sounds so cliche to say this, but to change this habit of mine I took up meditation (again!). You don’t know how many times I tried meditation and got far and then failed. I felt like if i had a bad day, then my meditation somehow must have failed. What I didn’t take into account was that where I was a year ago mentally was better than before, even if it was a small progress.
My trick to combating this negative thought process was finding a favorite quote and reciting it to myself anytime I caught myself sinking into negative thoughts or anytime I felt some form of inadequacy. I had to literally retrain my brain and it wasn’t an overnight process, I had to become aware of what I was thinking and not just let the thoughts slip through my mind.

Reactions:

Reactions are how we respond to the situation in front of us. How we react determines the immediate future, so we must always be conscious of the decisions we are about to make. I sometimes have to ask myself is what I am about to say helpful and kind? Does it really need to be said? Do my words matter? Do my words hold weight, and if they do, does it hold positive weight or negative weight? Am I responding with my ego to protect myself or am I coming from a place of love? Many of us have deep defensive mechanisms ingrained in us so we sometimes react from a place of fear, anxiety, or guilt as a way to protect ourselves. I can’t even tell you how many times I thought someone was attacking me with their words, when in actuality I was just projecting.
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And you know what!? Not everything deserves a reaction. This was the hardest lesson I’ve had to learn in all 30 years of my life.

Let’s take into account those who are attacking us with their words. Because lets be honest..sometimes people can be cruel and play on our weakness. There are people out there that are so good at reading you and what makes you tick-they do it on purpose, just to get a rise out of you. They want to see you react in anger, stress, or an emotion that allows them to believe they have control over the event at hand.

These people are called energy vampires and many times they aren’t even aware that they are being energy vampires. And then there are others who just don’t want to see you happy-it threatens their lack of being.
Having control over you gives them a sense of power. These energy vampires thrive on seeing you act emotionally, that’s what feeds them-your energy!!!

Energy vampires aren’t after everyone. Many times they can be the most social person in the room-but, something within you triggers them to act a certain way.

Many times we date these vampires, become friends with them, or work in close contact with them.

For example: I once had a boyfriend tell me, “i am never going to tell you that you’re beautiful…the rest of the world tells you that enough.” or he would just disagree with everything I said to play devil’s advocate. He did this alot to get a reaction from me, to make me sad. To manipulate so that I would hold onto him and not see him for the coward that he is. He knew that the only person I wanted to acknowledge me, was him, and that was his control, that was his power. He’s an ex for a reason.

Throughout my life I kept running into people like him and dealing with the most petty comments just to see a reaction out of me.

Unfortunately we live in a world where these people exist and many aren’t going to try to rectify their behavior. We don’t need to change them- we need to change how we react to them and protect our energy!

So here are some steps:

• PAUSE. The breath between someone’s behavior and your response..that is your pause. Wait, take four breaths, and then ask yourself, “does this deserve my response? Does this deserve my energy?”

• Remember words are like a spell they can lift you up or bring you down. If the words around you aren’t helping you, walk away and set your boundaries. I’ve walked off from people in the middle of a conversation before and I have no regrets..I’ll come back when I am ready. Excuse yourself to the bathroom.

• Sounds cliche, but sometimes I imagine an energy ball surrounding me as I recite quotes in my head when negativity is festering in an immediate environment I can’t get away from as easily.

• Turn off judgement. We can be quick to go into judgement of another..learn how to turn it off. Stop yourself from thinking negative thoughts of others as you are only feeding into the negative energy. And hey we aren’t perfect so it’s not going to happen every time, no one is a saint.

• Emotional Non-attachment: “Non-attachment is not indifference. When you are indifferent, you don’t look at a person. You are walking along the street and somebody is dying of thirst, but you will not look at him. If you are non-attached, your inner being will compel you to give him a glass of water. But if he doesn’t drink it, you will not feel sad or angry.”– Sri Chinmoy

• Focus your energy on something else. One thing I’ve been learning as I learn to control my mind more and more is redirecting my energy and thoughts. I have a ton of quotes saved in the storage of my brain that I pull out in emergencies to calm my anxiety.

• Let it go. If someone does make us react in a way we do not like..don’t beat yourself up. Take a breather, go meditate, run, bike, or do something to take your mind off of it and just be. Each moment is a new moment. You may have reacted with anger early in the morning..but you don’t have to live with it until the afternoon.

Practice these steps. This is your life, take control of the room in your mind. Take control of your voice, your energy, and your spirit. Even in the most negative of circumstances you have the power to change how you respond to it and that’s the only change that matters.

Xoxo,
Teisha